When given the news of divorce, many people panic and struggle with the separation that comes before the divorce. Here are some tips to help you through the separation process:
Self Care
Separating is one of the most difficult times of the divorce process. This is when the normalcy of everyday life is flipped upside down and you feel first hand the reality of what divorced life is going to be like. Truthfully, it can be any or all of the following: chaotic, stressful, sad, and lonely. The important thing to remember during this process is to take time for yourself. While it may sound nice to just lock yourself in your room and hideout under the covers all day, you need to get out and do things for you. Getting out and re-establishing your independence can offer you the repair and healing you need to move on and find happiness.
Define Guidelines For Your Family
If you have children, it is important that guidelines are established early on that offer both flexibility and structure for both parents to follow during this stressful time.
Talk to Your Children
When you are separating from your spouse, your children may assume that they somehow had some part in it. The key is to engage your children in dialogs where you make it very clear that it was not their fault. This does not mean that you need to get into the intricacies of what went wrong or the fight you two got in last week.
Use Mantras to Remind You of Your Goals
You want to get back to your best self, which means that you need to remember the things that make you YOU and what you are passionate about in your life.
Here is an example of a mantras for you:
"I am a loving person that wants the best for my friends and family"
Here is an example of a mantra for your child(ren):
"Both of my parents love me and I am proud of myself."