Question 1

Why do we need a signed agreement for the custody of our children?

Accepted Answer

Without a written and signed agreement, for example, one parent can disrupt a child’s life by deciding suddenly to move the children to another school or city. Having an agreement in writing maintains consistency for the children, which is essential to their well-being. Custody and visitation arrangements can be written in a Separation Agreement along with decisions concerning spousal support and distribution of property.

Question 2

We cannot agree on custody arrangements, what is the next step?

Accepted Answer

One parent must file a Complaint, beginning a lawsuit, for child custody. The parties will have to attend mediation, and possibly parenting classes. Eventually, if the parties cannot reach an agreement, a trial court judge will hear evidence and determine custody.

Question 3

How does a judge decide who gets custody of the children?

Accepted Answer

A judge uses many factors to determine child custody. Some of the main considerations are the age of the children, the stability of a parent and their home environment, the time a parent has to spend with the children, efforts by either parent to undermine the other parent, facilitation of visitation and involvement of the other parent, child abuse and neglect, drug and alcohol problems, the wishes of a child of sufficient age (not a controlling factor), and any acts of domestic violence between the parties. Additionally, there is no preference to choose a mother over a father. A judge’s order for child custody and visitation will include findings of facts that support what the Judge feels is in the best interest of the children.

Question 4

What if I my spouse is being unpredictable during the pending claim for custody?

Accepted Answer

If the child’s life becomes unstable or they need protection from a parent’s actions, a judge may enter temporary orders for the custody and support of children.

Question 5

What is joint legal custody?

Accepted Answer

When parents have joint legal custody, they share in the decision making for the child on issues such as education and religion. It does not mean necessarily shared physical custody. In North Carolina, the vocabulary commonly used to describe custody arrangements does not have a set amount of physical time spent with a child associated with the term, for that reason, the arrangements written in the agreement are more important than what vocabulary we use.

Question 6

What is sole legal and physical custody?

Accepted Answer

A parent who has sole custody makes all major decisions and has primary physical custody of the child.

Question 7

If my spouse has primary physical custody of the children, what are my visitation rights?

Accepted Answer

The parent who is the non-custodial parent has the right to visit with their child. Similar to custody, many factors determine the visitation schedule. Children’s schedules, the distance the parents live apart, parent work schedules, etc., will determine visitation. Younger children typically spend most of their time with the custodial parent and typically spend, at a minimum, every other weekend, a weekday evening, alternate holidays, and two weeks each summer with the non-custodial parent. For a 50/50 custody arrangement to succeed, parents must be very cooperative and amicable with one another. If parents end up in a courtroom to determine custody, it is not common for a judge to order this type of arrangement.

Question 8

Once custody is agreed upon or ordered, can custody arrangements be changed?

Accepted Answer

Custody can always be modified. If there is a substantial change in circumstances and the parent asking for the change can show evidence that it is in the best interest of the children, a change in custody is possible.

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