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Q & A With A Divorcee: What You Need to Know About Divorce

Separation and Divorce in NC

Divorce is more and more common, yet there still seems to be so many things that remain unspoken. Whether it is about the emotional process an individual goes through during and after the divorce or talking about finances etc., there are questions that you may not feel comfortable asking the divorcee. These are the answers that can help prepare you for your Wake County divorce or help you support a friend who may be going through a Raleigh divorce. With this in mind, use this Q & A with a recent divorcee to get the answers you may be looking for:

How did you decide it was a good time to get a divorce?


“I decided that I wanted a divorce when I realized how truly unhappy I was. I knew that no matter what, I would never be able to fall back in love with my (ex) husband.”

What were some of the warning signs/indicators? Had you thought about divorce before?

“Some signs were: not wanting to be around one another, looking for reasons to leave the house, being in the same house together but in separate rooms, fighting constantly about things that were not a very big deal. All in all, I was happier away from my husband than I was when I was with him. I had considered divorce before, yet it never seemed like the right time. Eventually, I realized that there wasn’t going to be the ‘right time.'”

Once you decided divorce was the next step, what did you do first?

“The first thing I did was move out of the house. I had family nearby that was supportive of my decision so getting out of the house was the first step. However, I wish I had contacted an attorney before making that decision. If I could do it over again, I would contact a divorce attorney before making any decisions or actions.”

How did you find your divorce attorney? How did you know that he/she was right for you?

“My Divorce Lawyer was recommended by another lawyer that is a family friend. She and I got on well when we first met and I trusted that she had my best interest in mind. After our first meeting, I checked a few websites and read attorney reviews and all of her past clients seemed to be very happy with her.”

What were the pros and cons about your lawyer?

“Pros- she was hard working and focused, she was fair but a fighter. She put her foot down when she needed too.

“Cons- expensive!”

Did your divorce cost what you thought it would?

“No- my divorced cost much more than I had expected. But, at the end of the day it was well worth the money so that I could put this part of my life behind me. The worst part of the divorce was the expenses and bills. Going from married to the single life is difficult because you go from living off 2 incomes to 1. Thankfully, I had a place to stay where I didnt have to pay rent because I’m not sure I would have been able to afford to pay living expenses and other bills.”

If you had the chance to go back and do your divorce over, what would you do differently?

“I would have contacted a lawyer first, and then made a plan. Instead, I made an impetuous and/or impuslive decision to just pack a bag and leave. I didn’t even take all of my things with me – big mistake.”

Many women note that they feel very alone during their divorces. Can you relate to this?

“Yes, you don’t realize it but even when you are miserable in your marriage, you still know that that person is there. Once I left, I felt very alone and vacant. I’d say that I felt more alone during my divorce than I did in my marriage.”

What recommendations would you have for someone going through the divorce process now?

“I’d say — don’t just give up and settle, but consider what you are fighting for ad consider the costs associated with your fight; in the end, it may not be worth the cost. Also, get a list of expenses from your lawyer (court fees etc.) ahead of time and an estimate so that you can get a general idea of how much your divorce is going to cost. And remember, that this is just an estimate and depending on how difficult your spouse wants to be during the divorce, those expenses can go way up!”

Over a decade ago, divorce was more uncommon, leaving people embarassed about their divorce. What are your feelings about your divorce?

“I am still slightly embarrassed about my divorce. I got a new job during my divorce and didn’t want my new co-workers to know what was going on. Then, I kept my ex-husband’s last name because I didn’t want to have to explain anything to my co-workers, if I did decide to go back to my maiden name. It just kind of sucks telling people about your failed marriage–it is easier just to pretend it didn’t happen. Only those close to me in my personal life know, and I am okay with that.”

Wake County Divorce & Family Lawyer

When going through your Raleigh divorce, make the process as simple as possible. Contact The Law Corner for more information about Wake County Divorce at  919-424-8319. Specializing in divorce and family law, The Law Corner attorneys can also help you with mediation, which is a more affordable option to divorce in Wake County. Schedule a consultation with The Law Corner today! In the meantime, take a moment to look through our resources made available to you: Raleigh uncontested divorce, North Carolina separation, Wake County child custody & visitation, Wake County child support and other helpful Raleigh divorce resources.

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