Are you married to a narcissist?
A lot of people do have narcissistic qualities, however 8% of men and 5% of women have full-blown narcissistic personality disorder. Now consider, while it is difficult to be married to a narcissist, it is even more difficult to divorce a narcissist.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, consider reading Karyl McBride’s book, “Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family.” Here is some information that may help you through a divorce with a narcissist.
Commonly, a narcissist is misinterpreted as a person that is brag-y and boastful. In a sense, they are seen as someone that is entirely full of themselves. However, if someone is simply bragging about themselves– they aren’t hurting anyone. A narcissist hurts people. A narcissistic person is not able to empathize with anyone, including their spouse or child(ren). Their world completely revolves around themselves and they will exploit others for their own benefit. Christine Hammon’s “7 Tactics Narcissists Use To Escape Responsibility” explains common tactics your spouse probably uses to avoid taking responsibility for their actions in your relationship. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will eventually find that you are constantly changing and adjusting your schedule to suit them and that you are there to serve them.
When you divorce a narcissist, not only do you have to deal with family law, custody issues, therapists, judges, and going to court, but you also have to deal with the narcissist — at their peak. A narcissist has an extremely difficult time getting over a divorce, as they cannot deal with the fact that someone does not want to be with them. They will seek revenge, and full force. Unfortunately, the court system is an ideal place for a narcissist to get revenge. This is because it allows the narcissist a platform to continuously battle with the spouse that is wanting out of the marriage.
When you divorce a narcissist, not only do you have to go through the difficulty of a normal divorce– multiply it by 100 if you are divorcing a narcissist. This is because your children will have a difficult time– because these are usually high-conflict divorces. The narcissistic parent will use the children as pawns, knowing that it is a way to get revenge on the other parent. Children end up getting caught in the middle and dragged through the divorce, making it harder for the non-narcissistic parent.
Narcissism is a spectrum disorder, meaning that some people are more narcissist than others. On the far left, you have the people that are sort of narcissistic- they have some traits where they are full of themselves and can be self absorbed at times. However, there are also those that fall on the far right of the spectrum. These people are completely unable to empathize or take into consideration other people’s feelings. The farther right on the spectrum your spouse falls, the more relationship and parenting issues your spouse faces. If your spouse falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, or towards the left side of the spectrum, they will likely be able to seek help– only if he or she is open to looking at themselves and their actions. Most people that are narcissists will not seek help. They are not introspective and instead of taking responsibility for their own flaws they will blame everyone else. This means that they will not ever seek treatment and when they do agree to therapy– he or she will solely go to explain how everyone else is wrong and how he or she is right.
While it will be a difficult process to get through the actual Raleigh divorce, once you are divorced it will all be worth the while. Many spouses married to a narcissist find that they are exhausted even physically sick or depressed because they feel like they cannot do anything right (because the narcissist makes you feel this way). At the end of the day, your mental health is more important for yourself and your children. Having the right Raleigh family law lawyer to help protect you and your children and deal with your narcissistic spouse, along with a great therapist, will make the process easier.
For help divorcing your narcissistic spouse, contact The Law Corner today. We can help walk you through the process and let you know what all of your options are and let you know what your rights are during this stressful time. The Raleigh divorce and Raleigh mediation lawyers at The Law Corner have the experience to make this process a whole lot simpler. Call us today at 919-424-8319.