After getting information from wedding planners and vendors, they are able to speak on behalf of brides and grooms and give insights into how you can tell if a marriage is going to last – based on their behaviors at the wedding itself. For more information about mediation, divorce, or your family law needs, contact The Law Corner.
Here are a few things to look for at the next wedding you attend:
We’ve heard the stories where the Bride wants everything perfect on her big day where she has her meltdowns, maybe throws a tantrum or two, but generally she is just stressed out and needs an outlet. Then there is the bridezillas or groomzillas that call their fiance horrible names, where you just want to give the other person a hug or tell them to “run away while you can!” It is this disrespect that happens during times of stress when the couples should be coming together that clues you the marriage is probably not going to last the long haul.
Have you ever listened to a toast where the best man or the maid of honor talks about the groom/bride passive aggressively? This is usually a good clue that he or she does not care for the groom/bride- and there is probably a reason, or they are going to go out of their way to sabotage the relationship anyway. The other clue is if the best man or maid of honor excludes their friend’s significant other completely in their speech — that’s an even bigger red flag!
There will be the couples that will call the wedding planner or the hotel to try to undo or change what the other person has said that they wanted or what they have planned. This undo-ing of the other, behind their back is where the issue lies. This means that the couple is unable to communicate effectively. If they cannot tell the other one that they want different silverware settings, how are they going to be able to talk about more important issues that arise later in their life?
There are the couples that all they think about is the wedding. How great their wedding is going to be, the memories made, and that this is going to be the best day of their lives. Yes, a wedding day is a great day, however it is every day after your wedding that means something. Your wedding day flies by – and it should be more about the person and the celebration of your marriage to that person rather than the party and how fun it will be seeing everyone.
Family plays a huge role in marriages so it is a tell tale sign when in laws are blatantly mocking their new son or daughter in law. Imagine a father questioning and saying how much better his daughter could have done during the father’s speech. Or a mother in law telling a bride she looks fat in her dress on her wedding day – that actually happens, believe it or not. And after that happens, there is a family feud that would be difficult for any couple to over come.
When the love birds want to celebrate with a few adult beverages at their wedding, it is completely normal. However, calming wedding nerves with a whole bottle of Jack or 2 bottles of wine may be a little over the top. There may be a reason that the person needs to drink that much and it does not lead to them having the day they will remember forever.
When the bride and groom go separately to greet guests, it is disrespectful to their new spouse. Going and thanking everyone together is the point so that you are now recognized as an item — the two people have become one and so now all guests have a relationship with both people.
When one party is disinterested in wedding planning and leaves it all to one person, that not only shows that they are not a team player but also that they are not really invested in the marriage. While bride’s usually do most of the planning, having support from their fiance is always a good sign and something to look for.
When couples go into debt for their wedding, it is usually a bad sign. Not being able to budget and go after things that you can afford is a problem that will never really go away, unless you nip it in the bud. Unless the couple finds a way to live off of credit cards and impeding debt successfully, there relationship will probably get pretty rocky and eventually end in divorce. No one likes to fight about money.
Sometimes you encounter the bride or groom that is unwilling to accommodate the needs of guests or their significant other at the wedding. If the bride is a vegetarian, you’d hope that the groom would suggest/allow some vegetarian options. This is not always the case. One story told was where the groom wouldn’t allow the vegetarian options because no one would eat them but her — so she got a side salad. That relationship didn’t last too long.